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29

Jan


GET READY FOR SUPER BOWL “CUM”-DAY!! - m4mm - 69 (Park Slope)
From the dude who brought you The U.S. J/Open and The World Series of Poker of Masturbation comes yet another hot and heavy viewing party where the “contact sports” aren’t just on the big screen. Whether you’re fourth and long or first and inches, you’re invited to come on down for some hardcore “fantasy” football action. 
Here’s the game plan: we gather at my spacious loft in “Jerk” Slope (Park Slope) an hour before kickoff to chug down some brews and enjoy a delicious Super Bowl spread courtesy of Whole Foods. We’ll keep things cas’ at the start, just some buff dudes checking out the informative pre-game commentary from veteran sportscasters Jim Nantz and Phil Simms. At the coin toss, we’ll huddle up around my credenza in “pistol” formation — Ravens fans taking a knee on one side, 49ers boosters on the other — and start running some plays of our own (with our d*cks). To make things interesting, everyone’s going to play defense and keep it dry until their team scores a touchdown, at which point one side of the credenza gets to “spike” their balls (not sure what we’ll do for field goals and safeties yet, suggestions are welcome).
At halftime, we’ll take a break to enjoy Beyoncé and lotion up, then get right back to the action at top of the third. Also we might do a betting pool, as long as we can make it J/O-related somehow.
EVERYONE MUST BE DDF. STRAIGHT DUDES ONLY, NO GAY SHIT!!!!!! AND LET ME KNOW IF YOU HAVE ANY FOOD ALLERGIES OR HALAL/VEGAN PREFERENCES SO I KNOW WHAT TO GET FROM WHOLE FOODS
Just a few spots are left, and we need more 49ers fans for full man-to-man coverage. RSVP to ck “at” colinkane.com

psyched for the superb owl

GET READY FOR SUPER BOWL “CUM”-DAY!! - m4mm - 69 (Park Slope)

From the dude who brought you The U.S. J/Open and The World Series of Poker of Masturbation comes yet another hot and heavy viewing party where the “contact sports” aren’t just on the big screen. Whether you’re fourth and long or first and inches, you’re invited to come on down for some hardcore “fantasy” football action. 

Here’s the game plan: we gather at my spacious loft in “Jerk” Slope (Park Slope) an hour before kickoff to chug down some brews and enjoy a delicious Super Bowl spread courtesy of Whole Foods. We’ll keep things cas’ at the start, just some buff dudes checking out the informative pre-game commentary from veteran sportscasters Jim Nantz and Phil Simms. At the coin toss, we’ll huddle up around my credenza in “pistol” formation — Ravens fans taking a knee on one side, 49ers boosters on the other — and start running some plays of our own (with our d*cks). To make things interesting, everyone’s going to play defense and keep it dry until their team scores a touchdown, at which point one side of the credenza gets to “spike” their balls (not sure what we’ll do for field goals and safeties yet, suggestions are welcome).

At halftime, we’ll take a break to enjoy Beyoncé and lotion up, then get right back to the action at top of the third. Also we might do a betting pool, as long as we can make it J/O-related somehow.

EVERYONE MUST BE DDF. STRAIGHT DUDES ONLY, NO GAY SHIT!!!!!! AND LET ME KNOW IF YOU HAVE ANY FOOD ALLERGIES OR HALAL/VEGAN PREFERENCES SO I KNOW WHAT TO GET FROM WHOLE FOODS

Just a few spots are left, and we need more 49ers fans for full man-to-man coverage. RSVP to ck “at” colinkane.com

psyched for the superb owl

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