Esquire Theme by Matthew Buchanan



My “Class Notes” Submission To The Alumni Magazine


B.A. English ‘08. I am currently a FUNtrepreneur (term I coined meaning a self-employed entrepreneur who has fun doing what he loves) based in Brooklyn, where I am seeking fortune and romance with an intelligent, non-materialistic woman who shares my passion for life.


Like most Americans, I was hit hard by the Bitcoin crash. Fortunately, my side business composing custom Libertarian chiptunes on Silk Road has survived thanks to the loyalty and support of my audience.


Dave, I forget his last name, we called him Big Dave because he was a small guy (it was ironic)


I was inspired to get into the field of geosocial networking by Grindr, a mobile app that allows chill guys to locate one another and make friends and do fun activities like mini-golf and pedicab rides. I hope to replicate Grindr’s smashing success with my own start-up GROWLR, a Grindr-type service for dogs.


GROWLR works like this: dog owners create profiles for their dogs, featuring the dog’s breed, Zodiac sign, pictures, videos, fave things, and pet peeves. The owners then broadcast their dogs’ locations via their phone’s GPS, so fellow GROWLR users can contact the dogs directly to meet up for playdates at the park, chasing tail at the puppy club, or even just tossin’ the old pigskin around. The best part is you don’t even need to own a dog to use GROWLR; dog enjoyers of all stripes can get in on the fun and meet up with a diverse array of dogs interested in being pet and scratched. As we say at my home office HQ, “Hey, it’s not hard, it’s GROWLR: The revolutionary dog finder app for the rest of us!”

While I am still seeking VC, I am confident I can roll out an open beta in New York, San Francisco, and Ithaca in the next few weeks. I am also looking to meet up with a programmer who can add microchip functionality to allow the dogs to broadcast their own locations — no owners necessary. My goal is to use the revolutionary technology of canine connectivity to simplify and electrify the scattered community of dogs and the people who want to pet them. So look out, Mark Zuckerberg! Is GROWLR the next Facebook? It sure “smells” like it!